I just cannot seem to manage my finances. I went shopping yesterday--and I did pretty good. We discussed what I would spend when I left, and I did spend a bit extra--but it should have all been taken care of.

Then I get a call today that my credit card wasn't paid last month and the late fees have pushed it over its limit. I was able to make the payment, but it's still aggravating. DH and I have sat down and we've written out a budget and he's got a plan--but every month, there is one bill that falls through the cracks.

He's much better at this than I am, because when I pay bills, there's more than one that falls off the radar, but I don't get why this has been so difficult for him to integrate. He's always been very good of keeping track of what's due and when so we didn't think that adding my expenses would create such a problem. It's just a few more lines in the books.

I guess maybe I shouldn't be too hard on myself that I had problems in the past--even someone who is good with money is running into weird situations. For example, my car payment hasn't been deducted. He's very worried about that and what we think happened is that the bank teller didn't save all the changes to the accounts when we switched from a joint savings account to a joint checking account. The car and credit card used to come out of that. Had we not had the overlimit fee, we would have been able to cover both right now, but that fee pushed us just a bit over--so the car will have to wait until tomorrow when the bulk of my money transfers from my checking to the joint checking account and then it can be used. If I take it out of my account, the transfer won't happen--and DH needs the transfer to pay bills.

I hate finances!

Here's where I get kinda snarky.

There's a lot of competition in my husband's family. Part of that comes from my husband being a triplet, and some of it may just be natural sibling rivalry. It really bothers me that there is always a sort of one-upmanship whenever something good happens to someone.

For example, at our wedding reception, his brother wanted to propose to his girlfriend. It was like, "I can't stand for the spotlight to only be on you and your happiness". When someone makes a major purchase, another one makes a different purchase soon afterwards. And yes, my husband is just as guilty in all of this.

I just received a bit of very good news today that I've been told must be kept a secret. Yes, my husband knows, but no one else in his family has been told. On the one hand, I'm very honored to be so trusted--and I know that there was an overwhelming urge to share the news, but why not tell everyone in the family? It's that sort of thing that creates this competition.

We're married!

In spite of all the drama and anxiety, we got through it. I've posted most of the highlight in my other journal, so it seems redundant to do so here where no one really reads anything.

However, that being said, it was a lovely day. We have lots of good memories and a sense of satisfaction. The cd wedding favors went over really well, my bridesmaids each looked beautiful in their unique way. The cakes were the big hit! They were amazingly good and moist.

We received a lot of very nice gifts from friends and family including a KitchenAid mixer and a grill! We'll be entertaining throughout the summer, I see! We received new dishes and stemware, so we can replace the things we had that neither one of us was particularly fond of.

The honeymoon was great. We visited Paradise Cove in Nevis, Minnesota for a week. We spent most of our time on the lake, in the cabin, or in Park Rapids. It was so nice to just disconnect and relax.

Now it's back to life as usual!

Wedding Favors

This one has really stumped me. I don't want to spend a bunch of money on something that's going to be tossed, and I don't have a lot of time to make 150 items. I got an idea from Princess Mandy of creating custom cds. Our twist is that we are asking family and friends for their wedding songs or songs that mean something to them as a couple. The idea is that we will have these songs played during the reception and then give out the cds as momentos.

Then on a Weight Watchers board someone posted a link to a site that sold the cds, labels, and folders for a very reasonable price. I placed an order on May 5.

I checked my bank account yesterday and learned that the money still hadn't been taken out of the account, so I checked the order status online. It read "processing" with a note that all orders can take up to 10 days to process. I must have missed that when I placed the order! I called the company to learn the exact shipping date and to see if I could put a rush on the shipping. That's when I learned that while one box was ready to go, the other wouldn't arrive in their warehouse until May 16 and then it would be at least two more days before it was shipped! Needless to say, I cancelled the entire order because I don't want to be wondering two days before my wedding if they are truly overnighting the cds--and then to burn and create them all before the 20th? Not going to happen.

So, we're back to getting jewel cases, cds and label software at Target. I'll pick it up this weekend and get started.

The Dress Part 3

On April 28, I went in for my second fitting. What a disaster! The bodice was still hanging a bit from my body-giving anyone who dances with me quite a view and the back was so tight, I could barely breathe. On top of that, the bra I had was declared insufficient and they were able to find a new one--up yet another size! And it needed an extender too! The hem of the gown was still two inches on the floor. I could have cried. Especially since I've been losing both weight and inches. This didn't make any sense.

I scheduled a third fitting for May 4. They actually have to take in where they took out from the back. The front still hangs a bit. The hem was fine and I didn't need to use the extender. How weird is that? Oh and the bustle and hem were perfect. I felt vindicated.

Just one more final fitting and we're done!

The Bridal Tea

I owe some people in a big way. It was a great event--and far above and beyond what I expected. The background of this is that my future in-laws have a large family. Guest lists for even the most intimate family events can easily get to be 30 to 40 people. Therefore, I felt strange having a traditional bridal shower. Also, my fiance and I are both in our 30s and have already set up our household. And, I've been married once before--we eloped, but many people frown on a shower for a second wedding.

The compromise was something I referred to as a tea. In my mind, this would be a social gathering without gifts. In my family, a "tea" is often coffee, cookies, and cake. There may or may not even be tea. Maybe I should have called it a "coffee"--there is a strong Lutheran tradition in my upbringing.

Either way, apparently there is such a creature as a bridal tea. My FMIL informed us that it is more prevalent in the South and is a family tradition. Therefore, she felt the need to research this new custom and I learned that she was planning the equivalent of a high English tea--complete with bone china.

I tried to tell her that all that work was not necessary. However, she and my matron of honor as well as my FSIL planned a beautiful event. There was my family's famous pineapple slush punch (famous because it doesn't stain and is really yummy) serveed in a crystal punch bowl with glass punch cups. My FMIL had made cream cheese mints using a mold that she had received 30 years ago but never used and petit-fors. My MOH made scones--four flavors: parmesan & herb, raspberry, lemon blueberry, and apple-cinnamon. They were really, really good and she needs to send me the recipe. She also made cucumber sandwiches. My sister brought down chocolates left over from her own wedding reception. Miniature eclairs and cream puffs were also served.

There was a large selection of teas to choose from. The tea was served from a silver teapot that was part of a set that once belonged to my grandmother, who was also in attendance.

There were a few bridal games--the umbrella game and two word games. It really was very nice. I think everyone had a nice time. And I really appreciate all the hard work that went into it.

Invitations

I really didn't want to make our invitations. We wanted to have something unique and we found a great invitation. It was a couple by a roadster and the invitation unfolded downward. It really was cute--and over $500.

Realistically, the only people who are going to save this invitation are our parents and ourselves. That's a lot of money going into a recycling bin. The more standard invitation was our next choice--and for $100+, we decided to go ahead and do them ourselves.

Sure, my printer hated them, but they eventually came out and looked pretty good. And of course, after I printed the first 20 or so, I noticed a typo (but how many people really know how to spell hors d'oeuvres?). I decided that we'd send those 20 out anyway and fixed the document for the rest.

Wouldn't you know, the day after I mailed out most of the 100 invitations, my FMIL calls to say that one couple on her list moved a year and a half ago! So the invitation wound up coming back to us. I was a bit peeved as she had a month to get these addresses to me--and it turns out that an aunt called her and informed her of the move. I don't understand this--if you're not close enough to find out that someone is moving, why do you insist that I send a wedding invite?

Now we're waiting for the RSVPs to come rolling in.....

Flowers

The guy who is doing our cake is also doing our flowers. He demonstrated that my dark blue color when combined with lime will look good with any color of dress with the exception of "screaming red". That's very good news because my attendants can choose whatever color they want to wear--now with the exception of screaming red!

He also recommended that we save money by using the flowers that decorate the church pews as the centerpieces at the reception. A two-fer!

I love working with people who know what they are doing!

The Cake

We met with the baker who will be doing our wedding cake last Friday. This guy is amazing! He's very knowledgeable and was able to help us make decisions. He had over 200 flavors of cake to choose from, and we had to narrow it down to three. So, we'll be serving a white chocolate white cake (melted white chocolate is added to the white cake batter), chocolate raspberry marble, and banana split torte (marble cake with strawberry cream filling and banana frosting).

There will be 5 separated tiers and each layer will appear to have spring flowers "embossed" on them. There is no cake topper as the fresh flowers will provide enough decoration. We need to find out if the reception location will allow candles. Apparently, insurance companies are cracking down on restraunts and event locations with this.

The Dress--Part Two

I drove an hour on Friday for my second fitting. I was on a very tight schedule because we had our cake appointment at 4:30. So when I realized that I would be 5 minutes late for my dress fitting, I called to find out if they would still get me in. I was very pleasantly told that it wasn't a problem, so I arrived and was given a seat. Apparently, they failed to mention that they were running 45 minutes behind. After waiting for a half hour, I decided that I had to reschedule. What a waste of time and gas!

The Dress (or Gown, as some like to call it)

So the day that I'd been dreading finally arrived. My mother, my future mother-in-law, and a very good friend were going to go dress shopping with me. The best time for my mother to go happened to be the 26th of February--the very last Sunday that the shop was open. But I called and learned that there would be plenty of time for alterations before the wedding date, and I made an appointment.

Keep in mind that I didn't want to do this. I have had horrible experiences in bridal shops as a bridesmaid. I don't want someone poking me and telling me all my figure flaws. And I really don't want to hear how a certain style of dress makes me look fat. Case in point, I told my mother that I was focusing my online search on A-line dresses because they supposedly look good on most body types (especially those of us who have somehow misplaced our waist). Her response? "That doesn't mean it'll look good on you." I did expand my search to mermaids because I know from past experience that they do look good and me (and the missing waist shows up).

So when we started our trip, I had this kind of a dress in mind.


The shop was recommended to me by Patchwork Princess and also my futer sister-in-law. I'll go ahead and use their name, The Wedding Shoppe, because the service truly was excellent. I kind of think that the mothers were more excited about finding their dresses--and I can't really blame them I guess.

However, they were patient with my parading out of the various styles I had selected (none of which were actually the above dress but had some of the same lines). And wouldn't you know, we all liked the very first dress I tried on. There was another one that we also liked, but when the bustle was up, a lot of bare leg could be seen through the lace.

So, in under an hour and with some very good input from the team I wound up with this.

Without the naked guy of course. And I won't be wearing the little straps that tie around the neck. When I first tried the dress on, I wasn't aware they were even there. The second time I put it on, we decided to see what they looked like. I believe the most accurate word was "cheap". Unfortunately, you can't see the detail of the dress in this image.There is no brooch--and I don't think I'll wear one. But what you can't really see in the picture is that the dress is white with blue and crystal beads. It's absolutely gorgeous and I don't resemble a big white tent of fabric.

We waited for my mother to select a dress and then walked down to Caffe Latte for a little celebratory dessert. All in all, I'd say the afternoon was a success.

Videographer Update

After seeing myself on video during a simulated press conference, I have decided that there will be NO videographer at the wedding. End of story.